Question With A Sister - Sis. Ernestine Beckett
Question # 1
Where does a sister draw the line when witnessing to a male?
A sister also has a responsibility and need to witness of God's saving grace in her life.
However, she should be cautious and minimize her contact with a male to whom she is witnessing.
Her testimony should be brief and simple. Focusing on what Christ has done in her life.
Therefore, at work or at school, when challenged reagarding her faith, or when approached by a boy who expresses admiration for her, or the way she dresses, she should not prolong her conversation with him. A long explanation about her faith or on doctrinal issues is not advisable: nor is giving him advice or listening to him. Girls tend to be emotional and can so easily get involved with a boy.
She should refer to a godly counselor, her pastor, or a Christian boy of his peer group who can deal with him further or invite him to a youth meeting or discussion group.
Sometimes a girl may feel "I like the unbelieving boy therefore I want to witness to him." Allow boys to speak to boys. Trying to present Christ to him in the hope of convincing him will make her vulnerable - even though she thinks she is strong enough to handle it. Girls have a way of yielding to what they hear, and a boy can subtly influence a girl and get her to be sympathetic to him, without her even being aware of it.
However, she is already witnessing to him through her general conduct and dress.
Some males gain access to a girl by phoning her. This privilege should be denied them because it can develop into something secretive. Seek the advice and guidance of a parent or trustworthy adult. The rule is not to have dealings with a boy on your own. When witnessing to a male, by phone or in conversation, there is an exchange of ideas, thoughts, and expressions. This means the girl will be giving of herself, and receiving of that boy. There is a risk of her feelings getting involved. This then meand she can no longer be objective. Unwittingly she may be drawn into a friendship. There fore, it is advisable to cut communications short and allow others to help her to deal with him. Afterwards she could contact the Christian brother or pastor on any progress with the boy.
Question #2
I have a friend (in the message) who does not wear modest clothing; how would you go about telling her that her clothes are not modest...and what are some scriptures I could tell her about?
To tell anyone about her immodest dressing is a very delicate matter. Much prayer is needed to precede this. You have to be genuinely interested in the person with a real desire to help. Look to God for wisdom to rightly speak, so that you can impress her with the sense of proper dressing. Speak in love. Remember no one wants criticism, nor does anyone enjoy being corrected.
Therefore, go to her in private. Begin by honestly appreciating her. Say something like you know her to be a well thought of individual who could be encouraged to higher ideals. In the past, you yourself by lack of proper understanding have also made mistakes without being aware of it. Since all ladies need reminders and constant help in this area, you have come to speak to her about taking care in her dressing.
Be specific as what you consider she should know. Mention for example that, although she may not be aware of it, her skirts are so tight her underneath garments show. Also, that the sweater-type of blouses she often wears has such cleavage, it leaves nothing to the imagination in showing her bust line, and body form. Also, the pretty slipslop shoes she has recently adopted, although not high heeled, has a sexy spirit on them.
She may say that she has not been aware of this, and that her motive was certainly not to project sexiness by her dress. Try to get her to understand that her wearing these garments can be a stubling block to men, as well as to other girls.
She may ask:
1. Where does the prophet say it or where is the quote for it?
2. Should men not be able to guard their thoughts?
Although there are specific quotes dealing on dress, we may not get a quote for everything. yet the dress code for woman is clear-cut, that is, cover-up so that men do not lust. Remember, women are held partly responsible for a man's thoughts.
This principle of proper dressing is godly decency, reflecting our beliefs, which is what you want to clarify and not so much your own opinion. Whatever the outcome or her response, do not press for change immediately. Let her know that you love her and you have her best interest at heart. Give her time; let her make her own decision and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal it to her. Let the Holy Spirit do the convicting, and later bring the change.
Scriptures: Proverbs 31:30; 1 Timothy 2:9-10; Romans 14:13; Matthew 5:27-28; Romans 13:9-10; 1 Peter 1:15; Galations 5:13-14